Parish life has kept me too busy to post as often as I'd like- but this stormy night gives me a moment to sit at my lappy and reflect a bit...
One of the hardest things to come to terms with is attending parish events - or events planned by parishioners- and knowing I will have to go alone as my "hidden partner" stays home. I am a part of a "Dinners of 8" group that meets monthly- which already means once a month I have to leave my love, but now that summer is here, I am getting more and more invitations to dinner, picnics, wedding rehearsal dinners, etc. Invariably the very kind parishioner adds, "O, Father, feel free to bring a date." UGH. And how am I too respond? "O, I'm not seeing anyone?", or "I'm single?"...
Even worse are the questions that probe into my private life... "Father, why don't you get out and date?" "Don't you want to get married?"... Recently I was on a parish outing and several of the parishioners attempted to 'set me up' with a young woman also on the outing. Not only was it awkward for me, but I felt embarrassed for the young woman. And, quite honestly, I found myself wondering if my parishioners were really so clueless....
At any rate, all of these episodes leave me feeling ashamed and dehumanized. Every time I see my husband sneaking out of the Mass so we won't get caught, my heart falls and I want to weep. One of the most important parts of my life is hidden as if it were criminal. It would be easy to just go to another diocese that would include me and all of God's children it the life and ministry of the Church.... but I love it here otherwise. My ministry is fruitful and rewarding.... But I don't know how much longer we can live this way.....
pray for us
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